A Doncaster mum has raised £5,100 for the maternity bereavement team at Doncaster and Bassetlaw Teaching Hospitals (DBTH) in memory of her daughter Savannah, who was stillborn 15 years ago.
Carly Carlisle, 34, has been fundraising for charities close to her heart for years with help from partner Kieran and children Laila, Tommy and Paige.
A support worker at a local school, Carly says the death of her first child at 37 weeks and five days ‘completely changed’ her.
Carly said: “It completely changed me. I had all the baby clothes, my hospital bag was packed, then I was told there was no heartbeat.
“I just didn’t think something like that could happen to me. It happens on telly, not in real life.”
Savannah was born in Barnsley and delivered on the labour suite, an experience Carly has never forgotten.
Carly said: “I was delivering a baby who wasn’t going to cry and breathe and all I could hear was babies crying. I often think about it. I wish I hadn’t heard those cries.”
According to NHS.UK, around one in 250 pregnancies are stillborn. Later losses, such as stillbirth or loss after birth, are rarely discussed because they are too painful to talk about, explained Rhian Morris, Specialist Bereavement Midwife at DBTH.
She said: “This is one of the most traumatic experiences a family can face, and it hurts to talk about.
“Many families think once they reach the dating scan, or complete the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, they are ‘safe’.”
Baby Loss Awareness Week in October helps raise awareness, but, as Rhian notes, “Sadly baby loss happens every day, not just one week a year.”
Carly’s experience inspired her to fundraise for other families facing baby loss, and she now dreams of becoming a bereavement midwife.
She said: “I’ve done this for Savannah. I want to help people going through what I went through. I’m not scared of death.
“If I could have a wish, every pregnancy would end up healthy because I can’t take it.”
Her £5,100 fundraising total came from events including a charity night at Rossington Top Club, a £500 raffle, donations from friends and family, and a Rainbow Fun Run at Tornedale Infant School, which raised over £2,000.
Her latest donation will fund memory-making items for bereaved families and improvements to gynaecology department facilities for those experiencing early miscarriage.
Rhian said: “To grieve and make memories with your baby following delivery is vital. This is a precious time families cannot get back.”
Carly has already started her Christmas appeal, providing clothes and food for families in need.
She said: “I want my kids to see me doing this and think, I want to help people too.”
Reflecting on her efforts, Carly added: “Sometimes I think I can’t do this anymore. But I’ve got food, my health and my kids are safe. I can’t stop.”